With the first Mind Stories entry in this brand new year, I’d like to use the opportunity to wish you a bright, warm, inspiring, authentic and happy 2020! May you feel light and with purpose this year.
We come into this world open, so pure, sensitive and highly receptive. And then we are subjected to the harsh stimuli of the external world. Some of us (if not all, in some way) are even subjected to harmful influences pre-birth. If not sufficiently nurtured, soothed, cared for, accepted and encouraged during early childhood, the child may develop defense mechanisms as a way to deal with pain, fear, anger. Not intentionally… It’s the subconscious at work, aiming to protect the hurting child which needs aren’t abundantly met. In the long run, these coping-mechanisms may end up blocking the path to inner happiness. The psychological walls that used to serve, may start to hinder. These mechanisms can shield off authenticity, purity, the very beautiful essence. Preventing that inner light to fully shine.
I used to have big, big walls around me. And I know a little something about coming from a place of little self-love, from where I used to punish my body and spirit repeatedly. With alcohol, smoking, overexercise, negative self-talk, with many a unhealthy habit. But the past years have made me milder. Yet I imagine there is plenty more left to let go off. And more to embrace.
We’re at risk of collecting psychological murkiness along the way. We may grow into beliefs that cause us to hurt. We might be exposed to other people that are hurting. We stay in touch with people that don’t bring us happiness, because we might be ingrained in certain social structures or relations, which can be hard to find freedom from. Family, long-time friendships, work-environment, sport clubs, social media… Some of these relations may have long exceeded their expiration date, and as byproduct of social influence, one may keep adopting mindsets and behaviors that are not really ones own. Breaking away from old patterns and relationships is hard. The mind doesn’t like change. It prefers the default. The path of least resistance. Doing things differently, is highly confrontational. Unlearning may be just as hard as learning. Possibly harder. Chances are we’ve have done and thought things a certain way, for the majority of a lifetime…
Should any changes made, be definite changes? Who am I to say… but if able to step out of the default, having a look from the sidelines so to speak, can be very insightful. Taking some distance; refreshing.
As the quote by Thich Nhat Hahn on the homepage of Mind Stories reads:
“For things to reveal themselves to us, we need to be ready to abandon our views about them.”
As to migrate towards a lifestyle that truly nurtures us. That feeds, and heals.
I’ve had to and still have much to unlearn.
How to trace that which doesn’t serve our cause, and start to let go? One method that has helped me see things the way they actually are, is meditation. It helps me look at emotions from a distance and brings more attentiveness to my actions, and less falling into the pitfalls of acting on instinct or (redundant) habit. When a storm rages through life and mind, meditation has the potential to quiet the storm. It helps the murky water to settle. It creates clarity. It gives me a better grasp on time. It makes present, out of the head, into the body. Into the now. The effects described above, may be found only after meditating as opposed to during, which understandably can lead to resistance to start. Meditating in itself can be highly confrontational. To sit with oneself and witness, and accept all that resides within, is not always comfortable. As Pema Chödrön said it: “To meditate is a brave thing to do…”
Gaining insight in oneself through meditation may see seem futile in the beginning. It may seem like trying to pick apart the Chinese wall with a set of tweezers. It may seem like you are not making any progress. There may not be any noticeable differences at the start. But change starts small. One grain at a time. Eventually the walls will come down. And why not throw in a hiking metaphor, for old-times sake: When I started hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, Canada was on my mind, sure. But it was by no means a reality. There was just today. The steps of today. The miles of today. But day by day, week by week, month by month, with focus, with intention, with attentiveness, that number of steps grew from 1 to 5.5 million.
I’d broken down the mental wall that stood between Campo, myself and Manning Park.
This makes me chuckle a bit on the inside, knowing myself to be quite an impatient person…
I’ve spoken to many a great teacher. I’ve come a long way since I started looking and feeling inwards, but I am always very humbled by (older) people that have many decades of meditation practice on me. For they address they still have a long path to go on their own. But each one emphasized reaping the fruits of their labor. The gradual effect of inward attentiveness, patience and kindness towards the self, and growing more compassion and kindness to all others.
We live in a hectic, turbulent world. A lot is changing. Quickly too.
A lot is changing for the good. Methods from Eastern and Western psychological models are finding another, transgressing the globe. The Western embrace of practices like Mindfulness and Yoga, and the growing collective awareness of the need for increased care for our precious planet, are clear symptoms of this change. It is the combined effect of all positive actions of living beings on this earth. Eckhart Tolle beautifully calls this the Flowering of human consciousness.
Tolkien tapped into the source too, and saw what we see continues to happen now. He let his words resonate through Gandalf in this gorgeous scene from the Hobbit, an unexpected journey, in which the fair Elven lady Galadriel asks the wizard why he puts faith in Bilbo’s hands.
“Mithrandir, why the halfing?”
“I don’t know…
Saruman believes that it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk, that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of kindness and love.
Why Bilbo Baggins?
Perhaps it is because I am afraid…
And he gives me courage.”
This scene, these words, put a genuine smile on my face. And so as to conclude this entry, I would like to invite you to be kind to yourself.
I invite you to be kind to others.
I invite you to be brave, tune into your intuition and authenticity and touch onto the source, your inner light. We may smile to a stranger today. This way we’re spreading the light. One smile at a time.
Let us light up the dark.
With love,
Joris
<3